Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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