i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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