I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
