Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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