if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
