It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
