I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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