I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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