D3 body, D1 cock
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize