Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
you are never too drunk for berry picking
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
