i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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