i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
