i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
