after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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