Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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