Please don't use social media to get back at me.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
