I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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