That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
In America we eat man semen.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
