watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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