Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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