Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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