He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
