hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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