gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
