have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
