White coat. Heels.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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