I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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