were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
