Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
