I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
