yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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