I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
