the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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