Me. At least after what I've been through.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
