in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
