It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
