if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
