my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
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