You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
