Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
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We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
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i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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