Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
