Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
