So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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