Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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