Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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