I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize