We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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