Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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