I want to have your abortion
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
