no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
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all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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