Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
