I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
