are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
