me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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