weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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