So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
