You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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