Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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