i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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