can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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