lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We were destined to go to rehab together
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
