saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He did a backflip because drugs
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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