he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
This toilet bowl is my home.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
