What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
