the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Randomize
