She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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